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dolphinity: I woke up this morning, and I remembered that this was the last thing I saw before I fell asleep. I know i’m in denial about whether or not I like him, I know that. But I don’t think you understand how afraid I am for myself. I’m not willing to go through it again. And yeah, I know, “You’re thinking too much into it.” but that’s just me. I think about the future a lot, the “what if“‘s, the regrets, the pain. I think, because that’s just what I do. I want to give him a chance, I want to give myself a chance, but i’m not sure if I have any chances to give anymore.It took me four years to climb out of that hole I dug for myself, i’m not sure if i’m willing to go through it again. Maybe it’ll be worth it, but what if, what if it’s not? What if I get hurt again, this time, beyond repair?I’m so scared, you know. I want someone to prove to me that not everyone will leave. I want someone to prove to me that i’m worth something, something more than what I think i’m worth. And then I think, “What am I doing? Me? Who the fuck would like me?” Because I don’t view myself as someone who will ever be good enough for anyone. I’m tired of getting hurt every. single. time. I’m so done with it. I don’t know if he’s going to be worth it. I don’t think anyone will be worth the pain. But nonetheless, I don’t want to have any regrets about not taking the chances I could’ve. So it’s a battle between heart and mind.I’d like to me everything you want, but what if you don’t have what I want? I don’t want to hurt you. Because I have a tendency of doing so. But either way, I get hurt too. And no one seems to care. I’m not strong enough for this. I over-exaggerate about everything. I’m not worth it. 
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dolphinity: ohshit.
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